Another Sunday, and this Sunday, I’m doing nothing. I slept until 11 (9 hours of sleep!!!), ate breakfast, did laundry. And now I’m at this damned coffeeshop because the only website that works on the dorm Internet connection is currently Facebook (further evidence of Facebook taking over the world, thank you Mark Zuckerberg).
It’s good to do nothing.
I need it.
I’ve never really and truly acknowledged needing to do nothing.
It’s a turning point.
I was having this turning point conversation with Ariana (roommate) last night. We both know that we’ve changed and are continuing to change, but have no idea how we’ve changed. Does that make sense? Probably not, but if it makes sense to you, shoot me an email, because I don’t get it. How can you recognize these things about yourself without knowing what ‘these things’ are?
Voice:
She took away my song. I was singing I Don’t Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar, transposed up because as much as she wanted it to, my voice wouldn’t go that low. I’m a soprano, always. And I liked the song. But apparently Mary Magdalene is sad and hopeless in this song, so it doesn’t work when transposed up. Which is true, and something that I didn’t even think about. So she gave me another song (which I can’t remember the name of...). And I’ve got a duet- People Will Say We’re in Love from Oklahoma! Which isn’t my favorite, but it’s a cutesy song. Perhaps why it isn’t my favorite? But I’ve got another solo song that I’m going to ask her about tomorrow, so if that happens then I’ll let y’all know what it is.
Stage Combat:
Starting to drive me crazy. I’m all for aggressive teaching and not taking excuses and such. But there’s a difference between aggressive and offensive. I’m not an idiot or mentally incapacitated, so don’t treat me as though I am, please and thank you. End mini-vent.
Ballet:
Learning our Spanish dance. Lots of fun-lifts, sexual passion, sudden movements. And our Russian dance is complete. I’m getting better at this whole ballet thing, and perhaps one day my six-year-old dream of being a ballerina will come true, but I’m still having troubles with left, right, patterns, and memory. Which is just silly, but sort of true.
Russian Language:
Still a dead end. Not sure why I’m still not processing this language, but it’s rough... My half-Russian half-English vocabulary hasn’t let me down thus far, so I think getting around Moscow using that isn’t a bad thing, but I wish I knew more. Upon returning to New York, perhaps I’ll find a Russian class somewhere.
Costume Design:
We have this class once every two weeks, and it’s a lot of fun. We did women’s turn-of-the-century clothing this class, and I got to try on a corset. Which I’ve done before, but then she yanked in the strings and all of a sudden I was very surprised, much thinner, a little breathless, and more understanding of Rose. Our teacher is wonderful-she’s a little quiet, patient, and knows the response to every question you could possibly think to ask, however obscure. The class is in the school’s costume shop, which is in this funny little building hidden in a sketchy alleyway, with peeling yellow paint and a fraying doormat, and is completely adorable. And very cramped, which seems to be a theme of costume shops everywhere.
Movement:
Still awesome. Same exercises, for the most part. We incorporated a lot of our partnering exercises in our last group etude for Acting.
Acting:
More etudes. Etudes, etudes, etudes. This coming week is our last week of group etudes so we can focus on our personal/partner etudes that we’re using to investigate/explore/understand/invent our characters for our scenes. It’s been fun. Darren and I have done two etudes since my last post.
The first: Exploring the moment when Sarah first gets sick and Darren begins to lose interest in their relationship. (For those who aren’t super familiar with the play, Sarah has tuberculosis.) We’re having dinner, somewhat awkwardly because we’ve decided that the relationship has been on the downhill for some time before she gets sick, and and finally some aspects of our happier times come out. We’re laughing, admitting that we’ve missed it, end up making out, and then I have my first serious coughing fit. (Mildly funny, because Darren has the worst cough ever right now. And I’m hoping that with all of this making out, I don’t get it, method acting aside.) And that’s a turning point in the downhill. End etude. Sasha had a good reaction to it, but gave us two main notes: there was a lot of visual, internal action. A lot of us exchanging thoughts via our eyes, in a silence that was full of communication but lasted too long. Which was my fault, because we’d discussed that I’d run over to him, and I ignored my impulse to get up because I kept thinking, intellectually, that it wasn’t time, it wasn’t time, it wasn’t time. But I think that in that instance, if I was having to tell myself that it wasn’t time, the time had already passed and I needed to follow the impulse. The other note was for Darren, overreacting to my coughing fit. Which I couldn’t witness, as I was hacking up a lung, but Darren and I spoke post-etude and he admitted that he knew that it was happening as it was happening. But in those moments, what to do?
The second: We realized that although the majority of our etudes reference some memory of our ‘happier times,’ we haven’t actually investigated those happy times. We decided that the meetings they have during their romantic courting period of time were a good starting point. Knowing that Sarah’s family wouldn’t approve of Ivanov, we needed them to be secret. So Sarah sneaks out, as per the last personal etude that I did. And he brings wine, which is cheesy and new. And we play ‘our game,’ a cute and fun game of ‘this or that.’ “Stars or moon?” “Sky or sea?” “Flowers or trees?” Etc. Then, “diamonds or coals?” “Diamonds! What kind of question is that?!” “Will you marry me? Yes or no?” Silence. Excited silence. Happy silence. Excited, happy, confused silence. He’s got the ring, how to respond? Nod. Nod nod. “Well, you still have to answer! Yes or no?!” “Yes!” More kisses. End etude. A lot of good reactions from people in the class and from Sasha and Oleg (they were both there yesterday). No one expected a happy etude from us, and the energy that I exuded was apparently perfect for the last personal etude I did. Which was wonderful to hear. Main note: was there any way for Ivanov to know that Sarah would say yes? Because that’s how it came across in the etude, whereas according to our circumstances, it would be much more difficult for Sarah to decide.
Next assignment: Love Letters, a personal etude. All of the characters with Chekhov scenes have to read love letters (within the context of the given circumstances of an etude) that they’ve written. The words have to be said out loud, not just read by the character to him or herself. Trying to decide if Sarah writes it to Ivanov, and if so, when in their relationship, or if she writes one to Lvov, which would be sort of rocking the boat. I don’t think she actually would, but perhaps that’s something I need to think about?
When we had the Ivanov character discussion on Friday, they extended my part of the scene. I go past the end of the conversation with Ivanov-he exits and I have some lines with Lvov. I’m trying to decide why they did that, but regardless, I need to observe Sarah’s relationship with Lvov. And figuring that out, in addition to the relationship with Ivanov, is going to be an adventure.
Had our group meeting last night. It went really well, and it was good to have the entire group in the same room at the same time. Had some rough conversations and some rough comments, but all things that we were able to talk about and work through. I love working with these people. We’ve been extremely lucky. The two groups were put together by the teachers based on one monologue from each of us, and somehow our group is a real ensemble, and I’m really proud of us.
Show!
Saw a ballet at the Bolshoi!!!!! And oh my God it was good. Useless Precautions. Which is a really strange title for a ballet based off of the opera the Barber of Seville, but apparently that’s the alternative title for the opera? In any case, it was brilliant. A wonderful work of art that didn’t take itself too seriously. So much fun. The main ballerina was a beautiful dancer and a very good actress, as was the lead male dancer. Some of the ensemble seemed lazy and therefore a little messy, but I wasn’t too bothered by it. But our ballet instructor, Larissa, seems to have been very right. She had Nastia come in to translate something for us at the beginning of class the other day, and communicated that the Golden Age of Ballet has passed. She danced during the Golden Age, toured during it, danced for Kennedy and all over the world. And when she says “Stretch leg! Stretch leg!” it’s because she wants us to find a passion for this art form. She loves us so much and loves her ballet so much that it’s overwhelming, and at the end of her speech, some of us were crying. Something that really struck me: her father once told her that ballet was equal parts technique and emotion. The technique of walking on a circus tight wire, and the emotional life of a dramatic actor on the stage. Her truthfulness and passion for her art and profession are fantastic, something that I hope to be witness to again, but I think that perhaps these people are few and far between...
That’s it for now.
Hoping that my next post is from the dorm- I am drinking my thousandth cappuccino because I feel guilty for stealing their WiFi without buying something, and their coffee isn’t actually that good...
Love you all,
M
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